Crowd: [chanting] Deshi basara! Deshi basara!
Bruce Wayne: What does that mean?
[SPOILER ALERT] In The Dark Knight Rises, Bruce Wayne conjured every last ounce of his will to take the leap of faith across the ditch and escape the unescapable prison. Needless to say he ‘rose’ to the occasion. Geddit? For those who didn’t watch TDKR or have no interest in Batman, I suggest you strap biscuits to your eyes and feed yourself to a flock of hungry pigeons in the park okay?
One day I stumbled upon a restaurant called ‘Rise’ and immediately stormed into the front entrance in my Catwoman suit demanding that the chef summon his own inner strength and leap like Bruce Wayne. The chef pleaded for his life saying he cooks Japanese fusion for Sydney siders, not Gotham City. The waitresses asked me kindly to take a seat and entrust the chef sixty-five dollars for 7 courses. I obliged when the waitress helped me take off my smouldering skin-tight gear. Don’t judge.
Moments of brilliance were often the most simple of dishes, true to its Japanese origins: natural oysters dressed in ponzu and a gently grilled salmon carpaccio is convincing with more flavour than Bane’s fist in your face . As the chef explores new continents, the ride is pleasant, without being memorable. Marinated chicken served with bimbimbap style makes Korean food sexy again, however the watery pork pie and bland soft shell crab is as unconvincing as Talia al Ghuls car accident death.
Like Batman, the food here feels a little torn from its roots and where it wants to be. Where it dabbles in fusion, the effect is rather unconvincing. When Bruce Wayne let go of the thought of falling, he was able to RISE from the ashes and take to Gotham. After dinner, I stood up on my table and shouted ‘RISE CHEF, RISE!’. You must rid Kings Cross from the vermin that is, $2.50 Sushi Trains! I was later arrested and shared a cell with Bane who told me, “I’m Sydney’s reckoning.” I know Bane, I know.